The smile that hid my loneliness

This is my twin and I celebrating our 25th birthday. His wife at the time and my Dad are also in the picture.

I'm still in uniform from work. Back then, my team and I provided nourishment for people and their families.

I have a big smile on my face.

What you can't see is the pain and loneliness that I felt on the inside.

I'd recently come out to my parents, not by choice.

Some of the thoughts I was wrestling with were: "Can I risk being my full self at work, or with the rest of my family, or will owning my truth cost me my career? Will it cause me to lose the respect of those who matter most to me or even make me a target?"

Have you ever felt that way?

Being a Black man in America is lonely.

Being a Black male leader in America is lonely.

Being a successful Black male leader in America is lonely.

Being a successful Black gay male leader in America is lonely.

Being a successful Black gay Christian male leader in America is lonely - This is who I am.

There are levels of loneliness.

It's a very complex and important problem.

We're in a loneliness epidemic, and I'm taking on an impossible mission to solve it.

It feels messy and imperfect.

Sometimes I wonder if I'm doing enough and if I'm being too messy.

I'd like you to consider joining me.

How will we solve loneliness, you ask?

Connection.

Connection creates a sense of belonging.

When we feel a sense of belonging, the desire to hold back ourselves and self-isolate diminishes.

Feel me?

Here's what we're working on to move the mission forward:

NEW GAME+ [Toronto, CA: October 2, 3, 4]

This is a once-in-a-lifetime event inspired by how, in video games, once you complete the game and beat the final boss, you can play it again, taking all your experience and upgrades with you. This event is for Accomplished Misfits, and we will explore connection, courage, and take on our next impossible mission.

An Accomplished Misfits Gathering.

My fellow Accomplished Misfit Chris and I are hosting a series of Zoom calls for Accomplished Misfits who have done things that seem impossible and also feel lonely in their methods:

Weird, Successful, Lonely, with Unfinished Business.

Free on Zoom. July 21st at 1 PM Eastern / 10 AM Pacific.

This is a gathering of accomplished misfits who are ready to admit:

- We secretly fear our best days may be behind us.

- Our success terrifies us sometimes.

- We’re scared to use the same methods that got us here.

- There is a part of you deep inside that is screaming out to do something fucking awesome.

Be More You.

Shermain.